October 2020 -
Friday I felt fear and despair
Getting the cancer diagnosis scare
My mind grappling with disbelief
Plummeting into grief
It's not that I am afraid of death
Or of taking my last breath
I have fear of missing out
To feel like I'd go without
Not seeing my kids into adulthood
And not creating all that I could
Wednesday an MRI showed early stage
Imagining my husband and myself at old age
I was immediately infused with hope
And felt that I could definitely cope
As if I was the luckiest woman alive
That not only will I survive
I will get the treatments I need
And be able to supersede
My strength and belief growing
Will eventually turn into knowing
Knowing that I have made it through
With friends, family, and my medical crew
December 3, 2020
I've lost my crown
It became dry and brittle
Until it crumbled and left me bare
Exposed to the elements
Trunk is lighter swaying bravely
Roots are holding me steadfast
Arms branching out for newness
Longing for foliage in spring
July 22, 2021
I'm weak and strong
Lonely and belong
I'm doubting and sure
Satisfied and I want more
I'm soft and hard
Pristine and scarred
I'm incomplete and whole
A perfect human soul
December 3, 2021
I sprouted in spring
Kept turning towards the light
In the midst of toxic pain
Cells put to death in order for me to live
Breaths infused with peace
Roots are holding me steadfast
Arms branching out for healing
Longing only for the here and now
Friday I felt fear and despair
Getting the cancer diagnosis scare
My mind grappling with disbelief
Plummeting into grief
It's not that I am afraid of death
Or of taking my last breath
I have fear of missing out
To feel like I'd go without
Not seeing my kids into adulthood
And not creating all that I could
Wednesday an MRI showed early stage
Imagining my husband and myself at old age
I was immediately infused with hope
And felt that I could definitely cope
As if I was the luckiest woman alive
That not only will I survive
I will get the treatments I need
And be able to supersede
My strength and belief growing
Will eventually turn into knowing
Knowing that I have made it through
With friends, family, and my medical crew
December 3, 2020
I've lost my crown
It became dry and brittle
Until it crumbled and left me bare
Exposed to the elements
Trunk is lighter swaying bravely
Roots are holding me steadfast
Arms branching out for newness
Longing for foliage in spring
July 22, 2021
I'm weak and strong
Lonely and belong
I'm doubting and sure
Satisfied and I want more
I'm soft and hard
Pristine and scarred
I'm incomplete and whole
A perfect human soul
December 3, 2021
I sprouted in spring
Kept turning towards the light
In the midst of toxic pain
Cells put to death in order for me to live
Breaths infused with peace
Roots are holding me steadfast
Arms branching out for healing
Longing only for the here and now
© 2020 Eva Nye all rights reserved
